


The first time Koujaku learned how Noiz's hair felt like, amongst other things

by DragonReine



Series: A Series of Firsts [1]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Anime Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Past Abuse, M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension, kounoi, noijaku
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 22:49:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2485082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonReine/pseuds/DragonReine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Koujaku has to revise his initial impression of what kind of person Noiz is like.<br/>Based in Episode 9 of the DRAMAtical Murder anime.<br/></p><blockquote>
  <p>For a moment Koujaku could only stare, caught off guard by both the vehement conviction of Noiz’s words, and that weird expression on Noiz’s face, the one that made him look less like the jackass Koujaku was used to and more like a scared kid. <i>He can’t be much older than Aoba,</i> Koujaku realised, looking at Noiz’s face up close like this. <i>He might even be younger than Aoba.</i><br/></p>
</blockquote><br/><strong>EDIT:</strong> Updated with an illustration!
            </blockquote>





	The first time Koujaku learned how Noiz's hair felt like, amongst other things

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning:** This fic references past abuse and non-consensual sex/rape, although there is nothing explicit. This is Noiz we're talking about, after all. 
> 
> This takes place in Episode 9 of the DRAMAtical Murder anime, while Aoba and Clear were running around with Alpha bots. 
> 
> It has always bothered me somewhat that Noiz and Koujaku, who'd been VERY obviously antagonistic towards one another in the previous episodes, could suddenly get along civilly from Episode 10 onwards. This was my attempt to headcanon that, with a heavy dose of Kounoi shipping added.
> 
> Self-beta'ed, all mistakes are my own. Also, watch out for the mood-whiplash!

He woke up to a general feeling of _fucking OW_.

Literally, those were the first two words on his mind the moment he abruptly jerked out of sleep, and it perfectly described how he felt right now, sitting on the edge of the bed and debating if he could summon enough energy to stand up. It was the tingling pins-and-needles sensation of blood rushing through a limb that had fallen asleep, except it was somehow affecting the whole of his body. Even the sensation of Beni shifting on his shoulder had been painfully overwhelming.

He didn't recall being so physically weakened the first time the tattoos had completely overtaken him. Granted, he did his best to not remember the details of what had happened that day, but something this noticeable should have been fairly memorable, right?

His stomach rumbled, reminding him that he had not eaten anything properly since he had arrived in Platinum Jail. He didn't manage to eat after he and Aoba arrived at Glitter, since he was too worried for Aoba to work up an appetite, and once Aoba had awoken and shown that he was all right, Koujaku had been been so relieved that he had simply...fainted. Fell right on top of Aoba and blacked out completely.

He cringed at the mental image of Aoba trying to carry him up to the bedrooms. He really had given Aoba far too much trouble.

His stomach protested again, and he sighed, getting up very carefully from his bed. The idea of shuffling around like an old man in front of Aoba was embarrassing; a man in his prime like him should be showing plenty of energy, after all.

Then again, Aoba had seen him at his worst, had looked into the deepest, darkest part of his mind. He had watched the memories that Koujaku had done his best (and failed) to bury. He really had nothing left to be embarrassed about, after being so exposed to Aoba's eyes like that.

But when Koujaku descended the staircase, he was not greeted with the welcome sight of a familiar blue-mulleted figure, but a lot less welcome (if still familiar) blond kid.

Lounging on the sofa, eating a slice of pizza.

They stared at each other, frozen for a moment, Koujaku halfway down the steps and Noiz with a pizza slice halfway to his mouth. Dimly Koujaku was aware of his shirtlessness, tattoos fully on display, and he had to push down the urge to flee back into his room like a startled maiden. Noiz was similarly underdressed, wearing only the long-sleeved top and leggings he wore beneath his usual shirt-and-capris combo.

Noiz was the first to recover; he blinked, and set the pizza slice back in the box. "Oh. You're awake."

Noiz's words, uttered in that same flat, disinterested tone that had annoyed Koujaku to no end before, was enough to snap him out of his stunned surprise. "What the hell are you doing here, you brat?" he snarled, descending the stairs as fast as he can ( _ow ow OW_ ), hands reflexively clenching into fists. "How you break in? Where's Aoba?"

The damn kid gave him an unimpressed look. "I got an invitation card from Toue. I didn't break in, Aoba brought me back here..."

"What do you mean 'back here'?" Koujaku exclaimed.

"... and I don't know where Aoba is," Noiz went on, as if Koujaku had not asked a question. _The nerve of the little..._ "He was gone when I left my room, probably went out with Clear."

" _Clear?_ " Koujaku gaped at Noiz. First the brat, and now the weirdo? Just how long was he asleep for? "What's that weird gas-mask guy doing here?"

Noiz shrugged. "Who knows. I only helped bring him back. You should ask Aoba."

God, _Aoba_. Out there alone in Platinum Jail with only a weird guy for company, when Toue was probably still looking for him. And Koujaku managed to sleep through everything. Some friend he was.

"Shit, and he just left without leaving a message? I should go look for him, he could be--"

A loud growling from his stomach interupted him.

Noiz's eyebrows shot up.

Well, more of a twitch, really, but the brat’s face was so expressionless that even small movements like that were noticeable. Koujaku glared at him.

"What, never heard a man get hungry before?"

Noiz's eyes narrowed, his jaw tightening. He looked pissed off.

 _Shit._ Koujaku's body was still protesting at him, aching and sluggish muscles reminding him that he was in no shape to fight, but he grits his teeth and tenses up for one anyway.

If that how it's going to be, he was not going to just roll over and let the kid beat him up with no resistance.

Except that 1) Koujaku forgot how _fast_ Noiz could be, and 2) he overestimated his body's ability to react in time.

Or maybe the pain and weakness was messing up his perception of time.

But Noiz was suddenly _there_ , right in front of him, and Koujaku couldn't even take a step back before a hand closed around his forearm.

The pressure was like a manacle lined with fire-tipped needles clamping around his arm, and he hissed, jerking his arm back. "Ouch! Damn it!"

But Koujaku, despite his weak state, managed to break the grip easily, and Noiz let him go. Surprising. Even more surprising was the startled expression on the brat's face.

"...Did that hurt?"

Koujaku grimaced and shook his arm. "What do you think?"

Noiz stared at Koujaku, and then looked down at the hand that he had used to grab him. The brat flexed his fingers, looking perplexed. "Did I grab too hard?"

_What sort of question was that?_

Koujaku was about to ask that, but he happened to look at Noiz's face properly, and the words died on the tip of his tongue.

Noiz looked...strangely nervous. Brows furrowed, eyes too wide. If he saw that same expression on anyone else, Koujaku would have said that it was a look of badly-hidden _fear_.

The expression didn't suit Noiz at all. It made him look _vulnerable_ , like a lost, terrified little kid. Just thinking about that left a sour taste in Koujaku's mouth, and a too-familiar feeling of guilt churning in his stomach.

God, he must be tired, to even think of such things. Guilt was not something he wanted to associate with Noiz; Koujaku had to deal with enough of it for the rest of his life already.

"Ah, it's nothing," he said, injecting a carefree tone to the words. He even managed to put on a slight smile. "Just slept too long, I guess, my muscles are feeling a little sensitive."

The false cheeriness sounded very fake his ears, but it seemed to convince Noiz. His expression eased into something closer to confusion. "Does that happen a lot?"

Koujaku broadened the smile into a grin. "Nah, it doesn't happen often. It's irritating but nothing to worry about."

That did the trick. Noiz sighed out, and his face went back to his usual bored expression. Koujaku thought he saw a tiny flicker of a smile right before that happened though. He couldn't be sure.

Noiz tilted his head towards the coffee table, at the open pizza box on top of it. "I ordered extra," he said. "You're welcome to have some."

Koujaku's belly rumbled once again, and he gave in. Sighing, Koujaku shuffled towards the pizza, half-anticipating a remark about walking like an old man from Noiz. Surprisingly, Noiz didn't comment; he simply flopped back on the spot he was sitting on before, and reached out for his discarded pizza slice.

"Thanks for the food," Koujaku muttered. "I'll pay you back later."

Noiz shrugged. "I have enough money."

And just like that, Noiz turned back into an irritating brat. "I'll pay you back," Koujaku said, in as even a tone as he could manage. "It's only fair, and I don't need your charity."

"...Whatever."

 _Tch._ Noiz really was insufferable. Suppressing a growl of irritation, Koujaku picked up a slice.

The pizza was still warm, and palatable, despite the fact that it seemed as if Noiz had asked for double helpings of every topping the pizza place he ordered from had to offer. Koujaku preferred simple, more elegantly-prepared foods, but he was hardly going to complain about an offer like this, and it did ease his hunger. Noiz finished his own pizza slice and immediately brought up several screens and a keyboard interface, the light from the holograms making the piercings on his face glint.

It was only then that he noticed the strips wrapped around Noiz's head.

"What the fuck happened to you?" he exclaimed.

"Hm?" Noiz didn't even glance up at Koujaku, his eyes focused intently on the screens in front of him. "Got attacked by Morphine when Aoba and I were out."

" _Morphine?_ " Koujaku felt a cold shiver of dread flicker through him. "Is Aoba hurt?"

Noiz's gaze flicked briefly to Koujaku. "He's fine. He's a lot tougher than he looks. He didn't actually get hit properly."

Koujaku briefly sagged wih relief. _Aoba's fine. Thank god._ But then... "Wait, then what happened to your head?"

Noiz shrugged. "Didn't pay attention. Someone snuck up behind me, hit me with a pipe."

A _pipe?_ "Then what the fuck are you doing here?" Koujaku snapped. "You should be resting."

The damn brat shrugged again, and Koujaku was seriously starting to get _pissed off_ , what’s so riveting on the screens that the kid couldn’t even look up from them? "I was hungry.”

He said it like the head injury didn’t matter, but Koujaku was no stranger to fights, and he _knew_ what kind of damage a solid blow to the head can cause. “You _really_ shouldn’t be up. And you should go see a doctor—”

Noiz _did_ look up this time, and the look he gave Koujaku was of utter disdain. “In Platinum Jail? Where Toue controls everything?”

Koujaku stopped in the middle of his scolding, belatedly remembered where they were, and flushed. Noiz didn’t say anything more, but Koujaku could practically hear the _“Are you stupid?”_ at the end of his words.

Noiz rolled his eyes. “Aoba said it didn’t seem too serious. He just bandaged it up.”

 _Aoba, huh?_ Koujaku stared at the gauze wrapped like some messy headband around Noiz’s head, and felt a burst of fond exasperation in his chest at the completely botched job Aoba had made of the bandages. _Only Aoba._ “Where did Aoba keep the first aid kit?”

Noiz paused, fingers hovering over the keyboard as he slowly turned to give Koujaku a deeply suspicious look. “…why are you asking?”

“Well, if you’re not going to see a doctor, the least we can do is bandage you up properly. Aoba is a lot of things, but a good nurse is not one of them.”

“And you are?”

Koujaku decided to ignore that imprudent little jab of a question. “The first aid kit, brat.”

Noiz scowled at him, but Koujaku just gave him a stern look back. A moment of tense silence passed before Noiz grudgingly muttered, “It’s under the coffee table.”

 _There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?_ Koujaku bit back the urge to retort, wordlessly getting up and heading for the kitchen, to wash his hands and get some water and clean cloths.

Koujaku half-expected Noiz to sneak off and hide while he went to look for supplies, but surprisingly, the kid was still sitting on the couch when he came back. Even more surprisingly, the first aid kit was on the table and already opened.

Huh. So even the brat can be considerate sometimes. Even if said brat was also wearing an extremely petulant expression.

“Move over,” he told Noiz, who obligingly shifted over to make room for Koujaku to sit down, while still giving him the stink-eye. They were almost eye-to-eye like this; Koujaku may be the taller of the two, but most of the extra centimetres were in his legs. It was a little weird, but Koujaku ignored the feeling and started to unwind the bandages around Noiz’s head.

“Are you feeling any dizziness?” Koujaku asked. Noiz looked and behaved as if he was fine, but Koujaku wouldn’t be surprised if Noiz was hiding any discomfort from him.

“No.”

“Nausea?”

“No.”

“Headache?”

“Don’t know.”

Koujaku stilled. Frowned. “Don’t give stupid answers, brat.”

“It’s not stupid.” Noiz had been staring off into the distance, his expression disinterested while Koujaku worked. At Koujaku’s rebuke, his eyes shifted to glare at Koujaku sideways, and there was a muscle jumping in his cheek from how tightly he was clenching his jaw. “It… throbs. I’ve never felt that before. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.”

…what kind of answer was that?

It was a bizarre and unhelpful response, to say the least, and Koujaku wanted to question Noiz further. But something about Noiz’s voice (too quiet, just a hint of shakiness) made him think _terrified kid_ again, and the idea was uncomfortable enough that Koujaku decided to drop the subject entirely, and resume unwrapping the bandages.

He couldn’t help but suck in a breath once he’d uncovered the wound. It’s a spectacularly ugly looking scrape, and it appeared to be swelling slightly, but as far as injuries went it didn’t look too bad. It probably bled a lot at first, but cuts on the scalp tend to bleed a lot more than other wounds anyway.

“Well, it doesn’t seem like you would need stitches, at least,” Koujaku remarked.

Noiz said nothing in response. In fact, he remained still and silent while Koujaku cleaned the wound the best that he could and started to re-apply the bandaging properly, not even flinching once during the process. It was disturbing, especially since Noiz continued to give him that sideways stare, barely even blinking. It felt like the kid was trying to see _through_ him, or something, and it made Koujaku’s skin itch with discomfort, reminding him of his tattoos and the memories associated with them. Gritting his teeth, he ignored that stare as much as he could.

“Why are you so nice?”

The sudden question made Koujaku jerk, his concentration abruptly broken, and the wrapping went loose in some places. Swearing, Koujaku hastily corrected the placement of the linen, before he gave Noiz an irritated glare. “What kind of question is that?”

“Is this for Aoba’s sake?” Noiz asked.

…

_Breathe, Koujaku._

Koujaku inhaled, slow and unhurried, and then exhaled just as deliberately, forcing his irritation into a low simmer and making sure he didn’t let the bandages slip again. It would be incredibly unfair to punch the brat when he was already hurt; Koujaku might have a few anger issues, but he also had _standards_ for that sort of thing, and frankly he just doesn’t trust himself to be able to rein in his temper, not after he had truly lost control not so long ago.

“First of all, it’s rude to ignore questions like that,” he said. “Secondly, I don’t understand why you have to ask that question. Aoba has nothing to do with this.”

Noiz scowled so fiercely that Koujaku wondered if maybe the head injury was truly serious after all; the anger on Noiz’s face was completely out of proportion to the situation.

“Then what’s the point of this?” Noiz demanded, waving his hand vaguely at his own head. “You’ve never done business with me before so it’s unlikely that you need me for my skills, you don’t like Rhyme, and you don’t like me. So why are you being so nice?”

For a moment Koujaku could only stare, caught off guard by both the vehement conviction of Noiz’s words, and that weird expression on Noiz’s face, the one that made him look less like the jackass Koujaku was used to and more like a scared kid. _He can’t be much older than Aoba_ , Koujaku realised, looking at Noiz’s face up close like this. _He might even be younger than Aoba._

“I don’t dislike _you_ ,” he said slowly as he tied a neat knot to secure the gauze in place. “You’re a weirdo Rhyme nerd, you tried to hurt Aoba before, you’re rude and irritating, and I _still_ don’t know what your deal is, but I’m not just going to sit here and not help you with something as minor as this. It’s basic human decency.” He patted Noiz’s head lightly and just a touch mockingly, like one would do with a small child. “There, I’m done.”

Noiz blinked, and his face went blank, like his mind shut off for a moment, and then he let out a weird barking laugh that held no mirth in it, his eyes falling closed.

“ _Human decency_ , huh,” Noiz muttered, his mouth curved in a humourless smile. “I should have expected that kind of answer from you, given your history.” His eyes opened just a bit, thin slivers of green peeking through his lashes. “It makes more sense than you doing this so you can have sex with me.”

Koujaku’s mind screeched to a halt.

For a long moment, Koujaku could do nothing but gape, as his mind ran around in panicked circles.

_Have sex?_

_With Noiz?_

_What?_

Noiz’s smile turned sharp and sly. “Oh? So you were thinking of it after all?” A hand landed on his thigh and started caressing upward, fingers tracing up the inseam. “I don’t mind. I might even like it. You’re pretty good-looking, for an old man.”

Koujaku choked and flinched away from that intruding touch. “I’m not gay!” he yelled, even as a voice in him whispered cruelly about that time when Koujaku saw Aoba curled in bed, listening to his headphones with his eyes closed and face peaceful, and just how many _dreams_ about Aoba (looking a lot less relaxed and a lot more wrecked) had given him sleepless nights since then.

Noiz’s smile widened, and there was something _bleak_ in his eyes that made Koujaku’s gut clench with discomfort. “That’s what they all say,” he purred, and then suddenly Noiz was straddling him, hips grinding down onto Koujaku’s crotch, forcing a startled and very unmanly squeak out of him. His hands grabbed reflexively at Noiz’s waist, although he was too confused to do more than that.

“This is how you charm your women, isn’t it?” Noiz said. “Treat them nicely, and tumble them into your bed while they’re distracted. If you wanted to fuck me, you only have to ask.” He leaned forward and nipped at Koujaku’s chin. “Or don’t ask, I don’t care. You Ribsters always make your move without asking first.”

The last few words were said in a whisper, hot breath ghosting over Koujaku’s ear, but they might as well be a bucket of ice water dumped on his head.

Heart hammering in his throat, Koujaku gripped Noiz’s shoulders and shoved him back, putting a literal arm’s length between them.

“Who are they?”

Noiz blinked at him. “Huh?”

“Who. Are. They,” Koujaku gritted out, his blood boiling beneath his skin. Images flashed in his mind, of Noiz beaten, bruised, and _violated_ like that…

It made him physically ill.

Even more horrifying was the fact that Noiz was giving him that mild puzzled look, just only slightly more expressive than his normal blank inscrutability, as if he didn’t realise the magnitude of what he had just said.

As if he didn’t actually care about what had happened to him.

“Don’t know their names,” Noiz eventually said, his tone flat.

“Are they from Benishigure? Or Dry Juice?” _Fuck,_ if any of their people had ever done this, if Koujaku and Mizuki had not been careful enough about screening the people they’d accepted into their ranks…

“No.” Noiz shrugged. “They were from small teams; most of them had disbanded by now.”

“Ah.” Koujaku felt some of the horrified feelings gripping him ease up at that, only for a different kind of horror take its place almost immediately. “ _Shit._ No wonder you dislike Rib so much, if those were the only kind of Ribsters you’ve met.”

“Why? Does it matter?”

“Because if it was any of my men that had hurt you, I would have cut their dicks off and kicked them off Midorijima,” Koujaku said darkly. _And Mizuki would have done a lot worse._ Mizuki wasn’t the leader of the largest Rib team on the island just because of his sunny ‘nice guy’ personality.

Noiz’s eyebrows rose. “That’s a bit violent, coming from you.”

“Compared to what has been done to you?” Koujaku’s hands were still on Noiz’s shoulders; he squeezed lightly, feeling just how bony those shoulders were, and was reminded that Noiz may be scrappy, but he was no trained fighter. “No, it’s not even nearly violent enough.”

That _scared kid_ expression flickered over Noiz’s face again, before it hardened with something like anger. “Yeah?” he bit out. “It’s all in the past, and I’ve had worse. I don’t care about any of it, so why should you care?”

Noiz flung his words like accusations, and Koujaku felt them like sharp knives burying into his skin. But if Noiz thought that Koujaku would get angry at _him_ , he thought wrong.

“I _care_ because even if it had happened in the past, even if you have been treated worse–” And that was terrifying to imagine, what kind of life had Noiz been living with before? “–does not make any of it _right_. No person deserves to be treated that way.”

The angry mask on Noiz’s face shattered.

For one brief, heart-stopping moment, Koujaku thought that Noiz was actually going to cry. He had seen enough of those too-round, too-bright eyes on other people’s faces just seconds before the waterworks started. But Noiz only ducked his head, hair falling over to shield his face, and pulled in a shuddering breath.

“Fuck.” Noiz raised a hand to his face and seemed to press it over his eyes. “ _Fuck_. I don’t get it. I don’t get _you_ , or Aoba. Both of you didn’t have any reason to act like this with me, but he did and you did…and…” His breath hitched, and then he whispered in a broken, shaky voice, “Why couldn’t I have met either of you sooner?”

Ah, _crap._

This guy–this _boy_ , shit, Noiz really was just a scared kid putting on an adult’s face to deal with the world. Koujaku was reminded of the days back on the mainland, when his mother had retreated into her room and cried quiet tears of exhaustion and frustration – Noiz felt very much the same at this moment, sitting in Koujaku’s lap, covering his face and shaking like a leaf under Koujaku’s hands.

Just how bad had he been treated, that even simple acts of kindness could reduce him to _this?_

Koujaku sighed, and lowered his hands to Noiz’s back. “Hey,” he said, keeping his tone low and soft. “Just…come here, will you?”

Koujaku tugged lightly, carefully but firmly pulling Noiz down, until he was more or less leaning fully on Koujaku’s chest, and Koujaku could wrap his arms tightly around Noiz.

“What are you doing?” Noiz asked.

“It’s called a hug, you idiot,” Koujaku said, without any real bite. “It’s what people do to comfort other people who are hurt.”

“…don’t want your comfort,” Noiz muttered, and Koujaku had to snort at the childish, petulant tone.

“Too bad. You’ll just have to deal with it.”

Noiz said something under his breath which Koujaku heard well enough, given that Noiz’s face was practically pressed to his neck, but couldn’t understand–some kind of foreign language?–before he felt Noiz relax, bit by bit, as if he was wary that Koujaku might pull away or something.

That...actually explained a lot about how Noiz acted as distrustful and disinterested as he had been doing, like he kept expecting to rejected and hurt by everything and everyone.

The idea of it was enough to make him grow angry, and he reflexively squeezed Noiz tighter, reminding himself that this was a very bad time to let his temper get the better of him.

Noiz made a sound, and Koujaku was briefly worried that he'd squeezed too hard, but Noiz only relaxed even further, even moving his hands from where they were squashed between the two of them, gripping Koujaku's waist instead.

"You're warm."

"...is that supposed to mean something?"

Noiz hummed, fingers twitching on his skin. "Nothing. It's just...nice." Noiz rubbed his cheek along Koujaku's shoulder, his body pretty much boneless at this point. His hair was a ticklish mass just under Koujaku's jaw. "You feel nice."

Koujaku blinked.

Was Noiz actually _snuggling_ against him?

That was almost...cute, which wasn't a word he'd thought to use when describing Noiz.

Aoba, yes, he would call cute, but Aoba was so fine-boned and fair that he looked like a particularly flat-chested girl at times. Noiz may be thin like Aoba, but his shoulders were too broad, his facial features too strong and masculine. About the only vaguely 'soft' part of him was his hair, a mess of fine strawberry-blond strands that had just enough of a curl in them to look fluffy and inviting to touch (and Koujaku knew that they were as silky as they looked, since he had to push them out of the way for the gauze earlier), although that same curliness also gave Noiz an unfortunate case of duckbutt.

Noiz might look better with a shorter hairstyle, Koujaku mused. Probably an undercut. Noiz had a pretty nice jawline, strong and sharp, and an undercut would show that off quite well.

Noiz chose that moment to shift his weight, yanking Koujaku from his thoughts about Noiz’s hair, and abruptly reminding him that Noiz was _sitting in his lap_ , the warm weight of his ass right on Koujaku's groin, breaths puffing warmly over his neck.

Koujaku’s brain stuttered to a halt again.

Noiz’s hands had, at some point while Koujaku was distracted, stopped holding on to his waist, and had started drifting up and down over his sides and stomach, bandages rasping against his skin. _Exploring_ , Koujaku realised, as fingertips traced along the ridges of his abdomen, dipped in the dent of his navel, feathered over the corded muscles of his obliques. Like a child running their hands over a new thing, learning the texture of it.

Except his body apparently _liked_ Noiz's touches, despite the strange innocence he could sense behind them, and Koujaku could feel goosebumps rising over his skin, and blood rushing down to his rapidly hardening cock...

_Shit._

Noiz froze, his hands stilling, and Koujaku knew he'd felt that. _Kind of impossible not to_ , he thought, somewhat hysterically, and mentally braced himself for an incoming punch.

Except Noiz didn't punch him. He didn't even remove his hands from where they'd come to rest just below his chest. Instead, Noiz _rocked down and back_ , the rolling motion of his hips pressing the ridge of Koujaku's jeans-confined cock up along the cleft of Noiz's ass.

Koujaku tried to bite back the groan the weirdly erotic movement forced out of him, but it ended up turning into a high-pitched whimper instead, and his cheeks burned at how _needy_ that sound was.

Noiz flattened out his hands and used them as leverage, pushing himself off Koujaku so that they can see eye-to-eye. Noiz was wearing that damned bland-faced mask again, even if his slightly reddened eyes spoilt the effect. Koujaku knew that _he_ was wearing a wide-eyed, terrified look, and it was too late to pretend otherwise.

Then Noiz grinned, smug and wide and _pleased_ , like the proverbial cat that had caught the canary.

"'Not gay', huh," he said, and Koujaku wanted to _die_.

"Shut up," he snapped. "It's just a physical reaction."

"Mmm, that excuse probably would have worked if you were younger," Noiz said. "You're too old for this to be just a _reaction_."

He rolled his hips again, at the same time his hands ran up over his chest, making Koujaku yelp with outrage and shock (and _pleasure_ , as Noiz's palms rubbed directly over his nipples). "What are you _doing_ ," he hissed, grabbing Noiz's hipbones and forcibly lifting him up a good few inches over his crotch, keeping him still like that. His cock protested the lack of pressure, but he ignored it, the stupid greedy thing. "It's not like you're gay either."

Noiz raised his eyebrows, no longer grinning, but the little smirk curving his lips was somehow even more infuriating. "I don't have a preference, I just like whatever I like."

 _What?_ "Wait, then when you said I was good-looking, you were _serious?_ "

Noiz stared at him. "Obviously. I thought you're a hairdresser. Have you actually looked in a mirror lately? I have no reason to lie." His eyes lit up with mischief. "Why? Fishing for compliments? I didn't know you were that insecure."

...

 _Nope, Noiz was definitely not cute at all._ Koujaku didn't even know how his brain managed to arrive at that conclusion before. He gave Noiz a sharp, toothy smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Oh, no, I'm just surprised you can even appreciate what you're looking at. I thought all those Rhyme games had melted your brain a long time ago."

Noiz laughed. "Nice, that's almost a good insult. Didn't think a Ribster like you would have enough _brain cells_ to even string that together. Offer's still on the table, by the way," he drawled. "You can fuck me anytime." Noiz's eyes went heavy-lidded, and his tongue darted out to lick at his upper lip. It should had been ridiculous and over the top, but the only thing Koujaku could think of was _fuck that's hot_. "Or would you rather I fuck you?"

Koujaku's stupid, unhelpful imagination suddenly brought up the image of Koujaku lying on his back, a naked Noiz crawling up and over him with hungry eyes while spreading his legs open, and he made a strangled noise.

The worst part of it was that Koujaku was pretty sure it wasn't a sound of disgust. Not even remotely close to disgust.

" _Shut. Up._ No one's going to fuck anybody."

Noiz looked pointedly down at Koujaku's erection. "Your dick looks like it wants some fucking involved. It's pretty impressive, actually, especially since all I did was sit on you. Are you that much of a pervert, old man?"

And just like that, with that familiar insulting epithet, Koujaku was abruptly reminded that only moments ago, this was the same Noiz that had actually _broken down_ right in front of him, all because he showed a bit of _kindness_ , and his growing irritation suddenly deflated. "Stop calling me 'old man'," he said wearily. "And I don't fuck kids."

Noiz's eyes narrowed, as if he sensed the sudden shift in Koujaku's mood. "I'm not a kid. I'm nineteen. Pretty sure that's above the legal age of consent here."

Koujaku stared at Noiz.

 _Nineteen._ He had guessed that Noiz was young, but he didn't think Noiz was _that_ young. Noiz couldn't even legally _buy a drink_ at his age.

Koujaku closed his eyes and thumped his head back against the couch. "Can we not argue about this? You're only nineteen, and I'm not about to take advantage of you after you had an emotional breakdown literally minutes ago."

Koujaku could feel Noiz's body stiffen under his hands, and he opened his eyes to find Noiz glaring at him. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, you immature, inexperienced little brat, that you should stop thinking with just your dick, and stop acting like having sex will make your problems go away." Koujaku knew that, even as the words left his mouth, that he was being a hypocrite, given his reputation, but he figured that Noiz might as well learn that lesson early and not make Koujaku's mistakes.

"Who said anything about using sex to solve problems? Anyway, sex is just sex," Noiz said flatly. "It doesn't matter either way."

And this proves more than anything that Noiz was still a child in a lot of ways. He doesn't even realise what he's using sex for. "Actual sex is never just sex," Koujaku retorted.

Noiz made a scornful, disbelieving sound. "I don't believe you."

There were plenty of words Koujaku could have used to argue his point, but then he was struck by the sudden idea that maybe, in this case, actions would speak louder than words? Especially since Noiz had a stubborn set to his jaw that told Koujaku he might end up not listening properly to whatever Koujaku had to say, anyway.

It was a ludicrous, completely _insane_ idea, but he was either more tired than he thought he was, or Noiz's brand of recklessness had rubbed off on him. Probably a bit of both, knowing his luck.

 _Ah, fuck it,_ Koujaku thought. _Might as well go with it, and it'll prove my point nicely, if it works._

"Kiss me."

Noiz's eyes widened. "What?"

"Kiss me," Koujaku repeated, curving his mouth into a smirk designed to tease. "Just one kiss. If sex is nothing, like you said, than a kiss should be harmless."

Noiz narrowed his eyes. "You know how _gay_ you sound right now, right? Asking another guy to kiss you?"

Oh, Koujaku was extremely aware of it, and it made him so many shades of uncomfortable, but he figured that denial was pointless at this stage, especially since he'd managed to think erotic thoughts of Noiz, not just Aoba, and had grown hard just from having Noiz on his lap.

But those were thoughts for another day.

Koujaku just tilted his head. "Why, Noiz, are you _scared?_ " he taunted. "So the brat is all bark and no bite?"

There was a flare of anger in Noiz's eyes, and then Noiz's face was suddenly just an inch away from his own, their noses almost touching. Koujaku could feel Noiz's hands gripping tightly onto his shoulders.

_Got you._

"Fuck you," Noiz breathed. "I'll show you _bite_."

Then the distance between them vanished, and Noiz's mouth was sealed over his.

Noiz kissed like he fought; rough, harsh, and far too dirty. There was a lot of teeth. Not bad, Koujaku thought, but it's a very one-sided kiss, and not exactly proving Koujaku's point.

He let go of Noiz's hips and reached up, cupping (cradling) Noiz's head with his hands, and gently stilled him, even as he tilted his own head back slightly and softened his mouth.

Took control away from Noiz and deliberately slowed down, pulled away until their lips were just barely touching, his thumbs rubbing light circles over Noiz's cheekbones.

He heard, felt Noiz suck in a surprised breath, and he mentally grinned.

Koujaku pressed their lips together again, keeping his own warm and pliant, and slowed down even more, until the kiss turned into something drenched with languor, with unhurried intimacy and appreciation.

Just the simple pleasure of their mouths moving together.

Noiz's hands twitched, and then their grip softened, relaxed, even as Noiz made a soft sound of confusion that made warmth unfurl, unexpected and sudden, in Koujaku's chest.

He was seized with the strange desire to turn that sound into something a lot more lewd.

Koujaku flicked his tongue out, wordlessly requesting entrance, and Noiz's lips parted, obedient in a way that Noiz himself had never been to Koujaku. It made him almost laugh out loud, but instead he pressed in, laid claim to the inside of Noiz's mouth.

And felt something between them flare.

Noiz stilled, and then he _moaned_ , a shockingly loud sound, and he _fell_ on Koujaku, his hands suddenly clenching in Koujaku's hair, his body pressed full-length against Koujaku's own, sending a wave of heat coursing over him. Noiz's lips moved in response to him, drawing him in deeper, until their tongues were caressing, sliding over each other in a wet, hot, intoxicating exchange of spit and breath that sent pure lust lancing through him, straight to his groin.

Koujaku groaned, his hands dropping to Noiz's waist, shifting so that he can roll them both down to–

_Wait._

_No._

_Fuck no, what was he thinking?_

He yanked his head back, breaking their kiss hurriedly, gasping. Noiz made an irritated sound and leaned in, chased after his mouth, but Koujaku leaned back even further.

"Wait," he said, "Noiz, _stop._ " Shit, was that his voice? He sounded raspy, _wrecked_. Just from kissing?

Koujaku watched Noiz's dazed eyes, waited until they cleared slightly as awareness seeped back in.

Noiz sucked in a breath, eyes widening, and that harsh intake of breath drew attention to the fact of how _close_ they were, practically plastered to one another from chest to groin. They both tensed as they stared at each other, gazes locked, searching for... _something_. Koujaku wasn't sure either of them truly knew what they were each looking for, much less what the other was seeking.

And unless that was a stick in Noiz's pocket, pressing against Koujaku's abs, Noiz could hardly claim to be unaffected by that kiss. It was a surprise that Koujaku felt a lot less shock than he thought he would; in fact, he felt his own cock swell even more in response, knowing that Noiz was hard because of him.

Koujaku licked his lips, feeling how swollen they were. "I told you," he said, as if he needed to voice out loud what was so very obvious to the both of them.

Noiz turned beet red.

Koujaku felt his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. He didn't even think that Noiz was even capable of blushing, given how taciturn he could be. It was surprisingly fetching, considering that it clashed with his hair.

Perhaps he should revise his opinion of whether Noiz can be called "cute" at all.

The sudden, shrill sound of Koujaku's Coil ringing made them both jump. Noiz scrambled off Koujaku's lap and retreated to the other end of the sofa, even as Koujaku hurriedly fumbled for his Coil and pulled up the incoming call screen.

It was Aoba.

Cold dread shivered up his spine, instinct telling him that something was wrong before he even picked up the call. "Aoba?"

" _Koujaku_ ," Aoba cried, and even with his voice tinny from bad reception, he sounded _terrified_. "Koujaku, I–it's Clear, he's _hurt_ and we're stuck on a rooftop, I don't know what to do!"

A hand closed over Koujaku's wrist, and Noiz was suddenly next to him. "Aoba, this is Noiz," he said, sounding remarkably even-toned despite their recent...activity. His face was still splotchy with his fading blush. "Do you know how to send your coordinates? We'll go find you."

 _We?_ Koujaku blanched, expecting Aoba to ask why the hell was Noiz interrupting their call, but Aoba didn't seem to notice or care, simply replying in the affirmative and saying he'll send them to Noiz's Coil, and since when had those two exchanged Coil numbers?

"Good," Noiz said. "We'll be there soon. Hang on."

"Thank you," Aoba said. "Please, hurry."

The call cut off, and Noiz let go of Koujaku's wrist.

"That sounded ominous," Noiz remarked, cool as a cucumber as he pulled up the information Aoba sent him, and Koujaku really, _really_ wanted to hit him.

"You think?" Koujaku said acidly. "And what the fuck was that for? It's rude to interrupt calls like that."

"You'd just fuss over him and get nothing done," Noiz replied. "At least this way, we already know where he is and how to get there. It's more efficient." He did something on his Coil, and then there was a screen showing a map, with a red blinking dot on it, before Noiz shut the screen down. "Found them. I'm going to get dressed. You should too."

Koujaku seethed at Noiz's demanding tone, but Noiz was already turning away, apparently dismissing him.

Still...

He reached out, grabbed Noiz's arm before he went too far. "Noiz."

Noiz peered over his shoulder, his face back to that disinterested mask that Koujaku was starting to hate. Especially when he knew the range of expressions that Noiz was capable of, knew how that mask was hiding what had to be a deeply lonely and painful existence.

Things really had changed between the two of them. For better or worse, Koujaku had no idea, but he was tired of running away from trouble.

"This... _thing_ , between us," Koujaku said with a wave of a hand, as if such a small gesture could encompass all that had happened just a short while ago. "I don't know what it is, and I sure as hell don't know how it'll affect the both of us, but I don't want to just...let things lie and pretend it never happened. We need to talk about this later, okay?"

Noiz stared at him for a long while, silent and inscrutable as a statue, and then he looked away.

It was like a fist closing around his heart.

Before he could yell, however, Noiz covered Koujaku's hand with his own, and squeezed lightly.

"I know," Noiz said softly.

It was hardly an obvious "yes" to Koujaku's question, but this was Noiz. He probably should had expected an answer like that.

Koujaku felt the hard vice gripping his heart ease, and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Okay." He let go of Noiz. "Let's go rescue Aoba." 

 


End file.
